15-Year-Old African Kid Tells Madonna To Go ‘Have Sex’ with Herself

almightykushlord:

Dakarai Molokomme, a 15-year-old starving child from a small village in Zimbabwe, has just told , one of the most famous pop stars in the world, to  and f*** , the local media are reporting exclusively.

“Yes, it’s true, I told Madonna to go f*** herself. Do you want to know why?” Dakarai asked. “It’s the same thing every time with these snobby rich Americans. Every once in a while they come to show us their support for the so-called eradication of poverty by adopting a child from a starving family, but they actually do more harm than good. Transracial international adoptions are part of the white savior industrial complex,” Dakarai explained.

In further discussions with journalists from the media, the  stated that “none of the children here actually want to be taken away from their family and friends so they can be displayed as some kind of trophy in the homes of self-righteous singers or actors who want to score some points with the media and Oprah.”

“If they really want to help us, they should get Big Pharma to ship us some anti-retroviral drugs for the AIDS epidemic, or build schools and hospitals. If they don’t want to do that, then they can all go f** themselves!” the child told reporters.

The 15-year-old also stated that he would say the same thing to any one of those American or European “faux humanitarian posers”, except for Bono, whom he said he would also kick in the groin.

“Bono’s efforts to save the African savage from itself prove that the colonial imperative is alive and well,” Dakarai said as he walked with other village children collecting sticks to build a tree fort.

THIS IS THE RAWEST 15 YEAR OLD ALIVE

thepondsaregone:

thorinoakenbutt:

castielandpie:

poryqon:

it bothers me that Kansas and Arkansas are not pronounced the same

I’m from the UK and I have been pronouncing Arkansas as Ar-Kansas my whole life

For all my non-american friends, Arkansas is pronounced ark-an-saw

WHAT

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

Baby: m-m
Mom: mama?
Baby: mitochondria. it is the powerhouse of the cell

i don’t care i love it » capital cities (europe)

The City of Love; The Forum; The Old Smoke; The Eternal City; The Grey City; Venice of the North; The City of Violet Crown; The Whitestone

vinebox:

literally me

islandtyphoon:

the best 12 seconds of the entire high school musical trilogy

platredeparis:

bnycolew:

mannysiege:

Progress

What

Imma just let this sit here

taylorwifts:

IF YOU ARE A FRESHMAN IN HIGH SCHOOL RIGHT NOW I ADVISE YOU TO DO YOUR BEST SERIOUSLY I THOUGHT HIGH SCHOOL WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN AND I DIDN’T DO SHIT AND NOW MY C’S ON MY FRESHMAN REPORT CARDS ARE KILLING ME IN MY COLLEGE APPS AND I WISH SOMEONE HAD TOLD ME TO DO BETTER SO PLEASE LISTEN TO ME IF YOU ARE A FRESHMAN GOOD GRADES ARE COOL

officialbrostrider:

helenaphan:

officialbrostrider:

i remember when i was 14 this kid asked me out and i told him i wasnt allowed to date till i was 16 and he said “i’ll wait.”

two years later he wished me a happy birthday and asked me out

did you say yes

DID YOU FUCKING SAY YES

image

suethespiders:

*rides off into the sunset on your dad*

himaruyavevo:

i want to know what would happen if aph netherlands and aph switzerland played monopoly together

venezitos:

we all know that what germany said about his proposal to italy being just a misunderstanding is complete b  u  l   l   s   h  i   t

15-year-old me: MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
me now: for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance
Pregnant woman: oh my god he's kicking!!
Me: *punches her in the stomach* you think it's fucking cool to hit girls you little bitch??
HW